I’ve spent all day, it seems, running in circles and getting nothing done!
my kitchen table is covered in what i plan on taking with me on my trip. I’m amazed at how much stuff there actually is (i.e., there’s more than on the picture) and I’m pretty worried that it won’t fit in my pack and will be way too heavy. yes, that’s right. it’s 11:30pm and I’m not packed yet. and yes, i am leaving tomorrow. i am the *queen* of procrastination.
i did last minute shopping. photocopies. emails. etc. i had my last poutine and burger. i went to watch the fireworks. but i can’t seem to get around to actually packing. i hate packing. everything is there. but putting it in the bag, smartly, although I’m good at it, i really hate right now. it’s probably because once I’m packed that’s it. it’s for real. no going back. leaving.
people tell me that I’m strong, courageous, brave, whatever. right now i feel like this is everyday stuff. i won’t be so strong once i land in Narita and see the people, feel the heat, hear a language i can’t understand and realize, I’m all alone, far away, for a long time.